“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” – Dolly Parton
“It’s not my thing, but I’ll stay here until I get tired and find something else.
And with that, 25 years passed.”
This reflection from Elisabeth, one of the participants in my recent study on women who moved to more meaningful careers, captures something many women in midlife recognise, even if they don’t always say it out loud.
We don’t always consciously choose our careers.
Often, we grow into them.
We take what is available. What feels sensible at the time. What offers security, independence, or opportunity.
And for a while, that works.
It gives us structure, income, and a sense of progress.
It gives us what we need at that stage.
But over time, something can begin to feel off.
A growing sense that what we do no longer fully reflects who we are.
When something no longer fits
Many women reach a point where they feel stuck in roles that once made sense, but no longer do.
Not necessarily because they lack options.
Sometimes, they simply no longer see them.
And leaving can feel complex and out of reach.
There are responsibilities.
Financial considerations.
Years of hard-earned experience invested in a certain direction.
And so, we stay.
Often longer than we would have chosen consciously.
But staying comes at a cost.
As one woman described it:
“I would come home every day exhausted. But at the end of the month, everything was fine.”
From the outside, everything worked.
On the inside, something was slowly draining.
It can show up as constant tiredness. A loss of energy. Health complaints.
And a sense of disconnection from our work, sometimes even from ourselves.
The turning point
Change rarely begins as a clear decision.
More often, it is triggered.
A life event.
A shift in health.
A change in family dynamics.
Or simply a moment where something inside becomes impossible to ignore.
These moments can feel unsettling.
But they also create space.
This Space to ask a different kind of question:
Not “What should I do next?”
But “What matters now?”
A different kind of transition
Midlife is often described as a period of uncertainty.
But it can also be understood as a period of reorientation.
A time when earlier roles and identities begin to loosen,
and something new has not yet fully taken shape.
This in-between phase can feel uncomfortable.
But it is also where important clarity begins to emerge.
Gradually, the focus shifts.
From external expectations
to internal alignment.
From what looked right
to what feels right.
Coming back to yourself
Midlife is not a waiting room between earlier and later life.
It is a decisive stage.
One where experience, self-awareness, and a sense of time come together.
For many women, this is the moment where the question is no longer:
“How can I keep this going?”
But:
“Do I still want this?”
Realignment does not require having everything figured out.
It often starts with something much simpler:
The recognition that you can no longer continue in the same way.
From there, small shifts begin.
A different conversation.
A new direction explored.
A gradual rethinking of what work is meant to be.
As one of the women in the study reflected after her divorce, at 42:
“If I’m lucky, I have another 40 years ahead of me…
I didn’t know the what or the how, but I knew I wouldn’t continue the same path.”
Midlife offers something that earlier stages often do not:
The combination of experience and perspective.
And with it, the possibility to shape the years ahead more deliberately.
🔆 A gentle invitation:If you find yourself at a similar point, questioning your work, you are not alone. This is a often the stage where change begins, and where something more meaningful can take shape. If you are rethinking how you want the decades ahead to unfold, I would be very glad to connect. You are welcome to book a free 30-minute Zoom conversation.
