“Joy is not made to be a crumb.” — Mary Oliver

When was the last time you felt truly joyful?

Not just “fine” or “content” but alive. Your eyes sparkling, your body lit up and your heart wide open?

If that feels like some distant memory, you’re not alone.

Many women in midlife feel something essential has quietly slipped away. Buried under years of responsibility, caregiving, and being everything for everyone else.

But here’s the truth: Joy is not a luxury. It’s essential.

Joy is not something you need to earn. Joy is something you’re allowed to feel, right now, as you are.

So what is joy, really?

Joy isn’t the same as fun. It’s not the same as happiness, either.

Fun is social and activity based. It’s wonderful—light, playful, and energising. Happiness can be about things going well. It can also be deep and lasting, especially when it comes from within.

And joy?

Joy has a certain luminosity. It’s that deep inner “yes” that can sit alongside sadness or uncertainty.

It’s the warmth of the sun on your face.

The laughter that catches you off guard.

The sudden sense of connection—to yourself, to others, or to the moment. It’s that quiet spark that lights up your whole being.

Why do so many women lose touch with joy in midlife?

Because we’ve been trained not to prioritize it.

We’ve spent decades being productive and useful. We’ve taken care of kids, partners, parents, and jobs. We’ve kept things running.

And often, we’ve put our own needs aside.

Not out of weakness, but out of love, habit, and cultural conditioning.

There’s also an invisible weight that can settle in midlife: changing bodies, shifting identities, aging parents, dreams deferred, or a quiet grief for all the time we’ve spent putting ourselves last.

It’s no wonder joy can feel far away. But it’s not gone.

It’s just been waiting for you to turn back towards it.

Why does joy matter?

Because joy is life-affirming.

It tells you: You’re not just a caretaker, a worker, or a list of tasks. You’re a whole, vibrant human.

Joy expands your emotional range. It brings clarity and strength. And most importantly, it reconnects you with your own aliveness.

In midlife, joy isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. It’s how we plug back into our own life force.

A joyful woman is grounded, magnetic, and open—not because everything is perfect, but because she’s chosen to come alive again.

So how do you begin to (re)find your joy?

You don’t have to make huge changes. Joy starts in small, honest ways.

1. Notice what lights you up

Make a “joy list.” What makes you feel alive? Walking in nature? Dancing in the kitchen? Deep talks, bright colours? Pay attention to the tiny Yeses, no matter how small.

2. Cut out the joy blockers

Be honest about what’s draining your energy away from you. Endless online scrolling? Over-scheduling? Trying to do it all perfectly? Start noticing what wears you down—and gently create space away from it.

3. Give yourself permission

You don’t need a reason to feel good. You don’t have to “earn” your joy. Say yes to what delights you, even if it seems silly. Especially if it seems silly!

4. Reconnect with your body

Joy often starts below the neck. Move. Stretch. Breathe. Wear clothes that feel like you. Let pleasure and movement remind you that you’re alive.You don’t need a reason to feel good.

5. Play, even if you’re bad at it

Try something just for fun—without worrying about the result. Be awkward. Be light. Let it be about the experience, not the outcome.

6. Be in joy’s company

Spend time with people who laugh easily because joy is contagious. The good kind of contagious.

Can joy exist alongside sorrow?

Absolutely. In fact, it must. Joy and sorrow are not opposites—they’re companions. The more you allow joy, the more capacity you have to hold everything else, too.

And in midlife, this kind of chosen joy—joy with depth—is more powerful than anything we knew in our twenties. It’s the grounded joy of someone who’s been through the fire and still believes in light.

Your joy is not a side note—it’s a compass

It’s how your soul says Yes. When something brings you joy, it’s not just “nice.” It’s pointing you towards your truth. Your wholeness.

Midlife isn’t about shrinking, disappearing, or just getting by. It’s about re-emerging.

You deserve to feel good. To laugh out loud. Not someday. Now.

When you choose joy, you don’t just feel better. You come alive.

And your joy doesn’t just light up your life. It lights the way for others as well.

Joy is a quiet revolution. And it begins with one bold YES.

🔆 Ready to say YES to joy? If you’re ready to reconnect with your joy, but aren’t sure where to begin, I’m here for you. Book your free 30-minute Zoom call with me at Midlife Redesigned. A supportive space to explore where you are now–and where you want to go.